Offering a Handshake

8 Interview Tips For People with Social Anxiety

Acing an Interview with Anxiety handshake.

The objective of this article is to help those that are anxious by giving practical advice and concrete examples that you can apply today! Helping you get that opportunity you’ve been striving towards.


Anxiety sucks, lets face it. That’s why so many already qualified applicants fail to gain employment due to anxiety during job interviews. This is regardless of their hard work of tweaking their resumes and cover letters to perfection — Making themselves a desirable candidate.

Many people may walk into an interview feeling like the odds are against them, but it’s not. When it comes to employment we live in a buyers market economy. A responsible hiring manager will not interview applicants they think are unable to fulfill their responsibilities.

Just remember, when you’re at a job interview the manager is rooting for you. Hiring managers dread the hiring process the easier you make it for them the more they’ll appreciate you.

1.) Learn The Ropes

Always read the job description. The previously studied knowledge will make it easier to predict the questions that they will give you in advance. Many people find that doing background research calm their nerves by showing what’s required of them. The interview is also about fitting into the company culture, and being able to reference company information can help give a competitive edge.

Write out a detailed response to every duty in the job description. This can be examples of your previous experiences that help demonstrate you can complete these duties for your next employer.

2.) Don’t Rush Questions

Stuck on a Question.

A common mistake is trying to answer every question as fast as possible. Leading to low-quality answers: stuttering, incorrect information, sounding nervous. Don’t rush yourself at the expense of your answer quality. Difficult questions don’t need to be answered immediately.

The most powerful politicians makes a living doing interviews and has the help of professional writers. Guess what? They still stumble over their words and get caught in lies.

When faced with a difficult question, and you need extra time, say something like “That’s a good question I need to think about it”.

Good example

Interviewer: What is one thing that you can teach us?

Presenter: That’s a good question, let me think about that…

Presenter: What I’ve learned working is that when I schedule my time and create to-do lists, I get more work done faster because I’m more efficient.

This tip works well for soft skills and personality-based questions. Don’t use this strategy for technical or skill related questions.

Bad Example

Interviewer: How do you create a pivot table using Microsoft Excel?

Presenter: That’s a good question, let me think about that…

Same anser, but a poor example. Especially if this is a necessary skill for your job. When it comes to technical questions that you’re lagging behind on it’s okay to admit rusty and you’ll need to touch up if that’s the case.

Mention similar skills or software you might have used. Maybe mention a time where you learned a specific software in a short amount of time.

3.) Say Less Than Necessary

Say Less Than Necessary Job Interviews

How do you catch a liar or somebody who is not confident? The man that needs to prove himself. Think about it. If I asked, “Can you drive?” In this hypothetical scenario, you’ve been driving for 10 years. The response would most likely go like this.

Good Example

Interviewer: Are you a good driver?

Applicant: Yes, I have my license, and I uber from time to time.

However, if you just got your license the night before, the conversation would look more like this.

Bad Example

Interviewer: Do you know how to drive?

Applicant: Yes, I drive everywhere. Down main street, 123 Highway, I drive to work, to school.

I can zipper merge onto the highway, and always signal. I also know how to park a car facing upwards on a hill. Turn your steering wheel to the curb. Did you see the differences in both examples? Who looked more confident? Which one would you hire, the one that gave all the examples? Probably not, he sounds like he’s overcompensating.

The worst part is that example 2 mentioned an error at the end of their answer. About turning to the curb when parking uphill, instead of away, which could’ve been an honest mistake but is not too reassuring. Saying more than necessary up more opportunity to make mistakes.

I know you aren’t reading this article to become a driving instructor. I just needed to point out why talking too much isn’t worth it. Heck maybe even the guy from the second hypothetical example is a better driver. Even though I still wouldn’t trust him as much as the first because he exposed an error about himself by speaking too much.

The Interviewer assumes you can do the job. Focus on trying not to prove him wrong. Instead of trying to prove him right.

4.) Bring Positive Energy

Tailoring personality

Tailoring personality sounds deceptive, but it is not. View it like this, when you tailor a pair of dress pants, are you changing it? Or are you modifying it, so they can better fit your knees(needs).

Remember, the real-world rewards those that can adapt their environment. When it comes to an interview everything is personal. Especially depending on the job. The economy is in shambles, skill does not completely trump personality. Unless possessing a skill that is extremely high in demand, and/or difficult to find (Programmer, Surgeon, Crane Operator etc.)

Everybody has experienced joy from being on the receiving end of excellent customer service. A polite waiter/waitress that fills our drink to the brim. Checking in from time to time. A waiter that can joke around with you greets you with a warm smile — die-hard fan of your favorite sports team — Sharing similar interests (movies, religion, culture).

Entry level Jobs with a high margin for error are personality focused. Certain jobs have ‘caps’ when it comes to technical skill. This means that once you reach a certain skill level, your opportunities start to plateau.

For instance, a world class doctor will have a much more opportunities compared to a lesser known doctor at a smaller clinic. In contrast, an average waiter could receive the same exact pay as their much more skilled peer.

A skilled waitress might get your order a few minutes faster, but you may not even appreciate it The difference between a good surgeon vs a great surgeon is a life saved, so a bubbly personality won’t hold as much weight in the medical field.

Not to talk down on another profession, it’s just that a waiter/bartender is more hospitality and entertainment focused. In addition, a likable waiter/bartender/cashier can make a person a customer for life. Building relationships are key.

When you’re positive and polite to people, they’ll tend to

5.) Look the Part

Have you ever heard the saying, “confidence is comforting?” No? probably because I just made it up.

The power of perception is real, if you act like you can do a job, people will believe you. Experience doesn’t always matter. Combat anxiety of looking nervous with this tip. Act, and you shall become.

As soon as you walk in that door, the manager thinks you’re as good as you believe you are.

Managers want somebody that can take on any challenge given to them. Why do you think war veterans with educational backgrounds are in such demand?

Because managers know that they are disciplined and can deal with adversity. If they can handle bullets flying at them and remain calm. Then I’m sure they can handle a stressful customer call. Even without direct experience.

When a manager is interviewing candidates, he leans on his gut feeling. Help them by dressing appropriately, one level above work attire.

Act Relaxed

  • Call the manager by their first name: If they introduce themselves
  • Cut them off politely if you want to say something or add a point
  • If you don’t understand or get something, don’t be afraid to ask questions

This is mainly applicable to adult to adult interviews, and nay excludes career paths with stricter prestige e.g. Law, government, military etc.

Stay Reserved

This doesn’t necessarily mean showing up late with a Doritos stain on your tie. This just means try not to overcompensate. Acting like you’re not anxious during the interview. Gets applicants out of their head, and focused on acing interviews.

It’s normal for these tips to seem rude at first glance.

Put yourself in your interviewer’s shoes. Have you ever been offended by somebody calling you by your first name? Most likely not.

Remember that your hiring manager isn’t special. Just another person that stayed in one company for a longer period of time. That’s just how seniority works.

Perception is so important because of how contagious emotional energy is.

I would never hire a chef that couldn’t firmly grasp a stove pot, a photographer that looked awkward/shaky holding a camera. No matter what their experience is. I need to see that they feel comfortable.

Politics aside, a great example is in U.S. politics. When you look at Donald Trump, you must give him credit. He convinced half a country that he can be president through his confidence. Over Hilary Clinton, a candidate with years of relative experience.

Here’s an example of Hilary Clinton’s speech in her debate against Trump. She doesn’t fully lack confidence; however, she says what she wants to happen, and looks for approval. However, her words aren’t spoken without 100% doubt.

The demeanor of Donald Trump’s speech says he can run America with his eyes closed, hands tied behind his back. He does this through body language such as less head nodding.

Donald uses power phrases in his speech as well: “We have a winning fight”, “wonders of the world”

He convinced the masses that he can run a country, over somebody with intensive political experience.

Here’s a fun interview example from breaking bad spin-off, Better Call Saul. Even though it’s from a TV Show, it’s what people imagine acing an interview looks like.

What I want you to pay attention to is how he uses his body language, and energy to sell himself.

6.) Prepare for Difficult Interview Questions

Getting stumped is anxiety inducing. Because the control is placed in your hands. When an interviewer asks a question, anybody can answer yes.

However, the interviewer is looking for more. Like English class, always use point + proof + explanation to answer questions.

e.g. “(Interviewer)How is your attendance?” “(Interviewee/you) I worked 6 days a week at 7 am every day for 3 years. I was responsible for the store opening and needed to be reliable. If I wasn’t there, then the customers would be locked out”

Point: I have great attendance” Telling the interviewer that you’re reliable.

Proof: “Never missed a day in 3 years. I woke up early to open the store”. An example of you being reliable.

Explanation: “If I wasn’t there, then the customers would be locked out”. Explaining your proof is useful when explaining the value, you provided, and how it proves your point.

The explanation isn’t always necessary if the truth is self-explanatory.

You’re anxious about your interview, right? Anxiety comes from the fear of the unknown. It’s about a lack of control and preparation.

How do we help this? No problem. Google “your job name” + “Interview questions”

The general rule of thumb is to practice and answer 10 interview questions related to your job. questions tend not to vary too much and help you improvise.

Common interview questions

Here are the 3 most common interview questions and how you should answer them?

1.) Tell me about yourself / Who are you?

What are they looking for? How your experience and background relate to this job.

Before I knew this, when I got this question, I would tell them about my life, where I came from, and how I was a middle child and learned to fend for myself.

If you were hiring a DJ for a birthday party, and you asked him to tell him more about himself, would you want to know his favorite food, and hobbies? or the events he DJs and the music he played? Most likely the latter. Keep answers on topic.

 What should you say then? Summarize your resume. Talk about your educational background, and what you learned that you think will apply to the job.

Summary of applying to an administrative job e.g.

Interviewer: Tell us about yourself?

Employer: I have a diploma in office administration. I was taught how to use bookkeeping programs like QuickBooks. I went on to use this information to track employee work schedules.

They taught me organizational skills and taught me how to process work orders through excel using pivot tables, and data charts etc.

I worked at  [Insert Company Name] and would communicate with the president directly and give him information while booking meetings and presentations, which relates to the project coordination skill listed in this job description.

Employer: 😊


The point of this example is to give a perspective on this question is to show how deceptive interview questions are. Customer service and office type jobs ask questions like this to see if you’re able to read between the lines.

How did you deal with a conflict you had with a co-worker?

What are they looking for? Are you going to stir up drama? How good are you at resolving conflicts?

I’ll give you the bad news first. This question could easily destroy any chance you have of getting the job. Especially customer service and office jobs. The good news is, this question can be straightforward.

First, use an example of a conflict you had at work. Bonus points if it relates to the job you’re applying for.

Make sure the conflict is work related, and not personal. Managers resent employees that bring personal problems into the workplace.

They’re called personal problems because they belong to your person(you).

Secondly, demonstrate how YOU solved it. This is a good example to demonstrate your problem-solving skills. Make yourself the hero in this story. Meaning, don’t resolve it by calling a manager, security, your mother etc.

Third, explain that you usually try to prevent conflicts by focusing on work, and/or being open to them.

Example:

Interviewer: Give an example of a time or situation that you had a conflict at work?

Employee(you): I usually try to prevent conflicts at work. We had a busy work schedule, my co-worker needed me to send him an email with important attachments.

Co-worker: You forgot to send the attachments

Employee: Oh, alright. sending it again right now.

Co-worker: Hello, you still didn’t send the attachments. Can you please make sure you’re doing it right.

Employee: He asked me the first time, I said I already sent them. I wasn’t receiving them. I asked him again, then he was getting extremely annoyed.

He still didn’t receive them, and I felt like he was getting upset, so instead of sending the attachments again. I emailed him, so he could just reply to me.


7.) What if You’re still Nervous?

Before the background interview, learn about the company by looking up their website.

Personal Anecdote:

I do stand up comedy open mics and competitions. The first time I went on stage, I did a decent job and even got an encore. I thought to myself this is easier than it looks, and it was.

The second time I got on stage; it was nerve-wracking. They called my name, I walked up to the stage and I was looking to an audience that was looking at me for entertainment.

Losing focus, and over worrying, I forgot what I was going to say. I could barely breathe and/or speak. As soon as I got on stage I forgot what I was going to say. After I was done, I felt embarrassed. Then the next day I felt nothing. I was done. I was terrified of speaking for 5 minutes, then the anxiety disappeared.

I came a long way, and the thing that helped me the most is remembering that it fear is only temporary.


Ever heard of the law of the 10’s? It’s expected to struggle much more during early attemps for most activities. We can not predict things in advance. After multiplying the number of attempts by 10 we reach another tier of comfortability. For example, if you were learning how to drive.

AmountInterview
1st timeI feel extremely nervous, heart pounding. Not confident in driving skills, will only stay on the sidewalk.
10th timeStill very nervous, slightly easier to focus. Comfortable on side streets.
100th timeOnly nervous in unpredictable and hectic situations, don’t mind speeding or rushing turns occasionally.
1000th timeDriving with confidence is not an issue. Feels comfortable driving anywhere: highways, roads etc.

This is not 100% accurate for anybody, but most drivers have experienced this before their own eyes.

Time keeps moving. Whenever you catch yourself in a nerve-wracking situation just remember that it is only temporary. Remember the last time you were anxious? What happened? Did things thing turn out as bad as you thought they would be? Most likely not, you probably don’t even remember the last time you were anxious.

You can only prepare for the future, but you can never predict exactly what will happen all the time.

It’s okay to feel anxious in high pressure situations. If you have a five-minute presentation and you are still nervous, that’s okay. Don’t think about how nervous you’re going to be, ask yourself, can I be nervous for 5 minutes. After, you’re in the clear. The beginning is half the battle.

How Successful People Deal with Anxiety

Short answer, they aren’t. People you look up to feel nervous all the time, they just push past it and grow stronger from the experience. Anytime you face an anxiety causing situation, you grow from it.

Society tells us that we need to be fearless and courageous to achieve our goals. Every successful person we see can take on their challenges head-on without fears.

However, Tom Brady admits to playoff anxiety. John Legend has stage fright and admits to throwing up before large performances (Superbowl, sold out arenas).You can gain confidence by being exposed to the same situation time and time again.

Hard to believe, but many drug dealers feel more comfortable and at ease selling drugs, vs an office or professional environment. Does cooking and selling cocaine seem more nerve-wracking, compared against creating an excel sheet?

Most would say no. This is the power of familiarity. Putting yourself in an anxious will help your brain adapt over time. Feel nervous at your first interview? How about the 10th interview? Or the 100th? This concept is known as exposure therapy.

Have you ever gone swimming/fishing/cruising? Sounds fun.

Well, an estimated 19 million Americans have some sort of aquaphobia. Humans tend to fear many different things. People are terrified of things that you can do with ease.

Whenever I feel worried, I go to this website that shows me a different list of fears people have. Some of them will shock you. This helps me realize that I’m not as alone as I thought I was.

8.) What if you Look Anxious?

BC soldier with red cap and outfit with golden star on it.

Take a deep breath, then try taking that tinfoil hat off your head. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been nervous before performing and after I get off stage people tell me how “comfortable I looked”.

I find this awesome because I was nervous; They just didn’t know. The experience helped me realise that people can’t really tell your thoughts, but can only assume them through body language.

Act Calm

  • Don’t fidget: Leg shaking, nail biting
  • Do not look at the floor:
  • Don’t be afraid of eye contact
  • Keep chin above the collar bone (head up)

Take it slow

Slow down your pace when anxious. ave you heard the saying “the slower you go, the better you flow”?

Speak slowly, a nervous person speaks quickly. The reason speaking quickly makes you seem anxious is because it is a negative feedback loop. You constantly need to come up with more words to say. This was me at my first interview in a dusty call center. I was speaking faster than rapper Busta Rhymes on his verse in look at me now.

When speaking quickly, you lose focus and stutter more. Which made me even more nervous.

Make sure you take deep, slow breaths, this lowers heart rate. This is how professional athletes are taught to breathe. As your breathing rate increases, your heart rate increases. Vice versa.

Conclusion

Acing job interview is a shoe-in, they want to hire you. Applicants can still get fired after acing an interview. Part of being confident is accepting that not getting the job, doesn’t reflect on your worth.

Have you ever been met with terrible customer service, and wonder how that person got the job? There are bad interviewees and even worse interviewers.

Everybody is an interviewer too. Including you. An interviewer hires an employee for the desired service. Have you hired a wedding photographer before? When you found one online and called in you most likely want to hire him. Always remember: if you can get the interview, you can get the job, and if you can get the job, you can do it too.

Any comments or questions?

Stephan Toure

Blogger writer and content creator that's dedicated to helping others get out of their own way.

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